Describe your most embarrassing moment.
there aren’t many.
Most of them probably came from childhood when I wasn’t as cool as I am today.
Yes, you read correctly, there was a time when I wasn’t AS cool.
Anyway, one time in 5th grade, I was supposed to go to an awards dinner
Nothing too fancy (they served spaghetti) but for me it was sort of a big deal so I had to dress nice. At that age I didn’t have very many weapons in my formal wear arsenal so I scavenged my closet and enlisted the help of my parents.
My mom eventually talked me into wearing a light blue plaid button down short sleeved shirt and white corduroy shorts.
I was dressed to kill.
This was the first time I had really worn such clothes in front of my school friends though! For a fifth grader it’s kinda nerve-wracking!
Anyways, so I show up at the awards thing, looking fresh to death, G’d up from the feet up, etc etc.
I get some award for academic stuff…
yea yea whatever, we all know that just like the Oscars, it’s about what everyone is wearing.
Anyways, the night is pretty ordinary, said hi to some friends and all that. No one complimented me on my shirt and shorts!
So the next day at school I arrive at my classroom (that’s right, there was only one back then) and I put my backpack down. As i turn around I see a girl from my class. This is what unfolded.
me: “hey so and so” (can’t remember her name)
her: “hey Robert”
*i start to walk away*
her (from a distance of about 20 feet): “oh! hey Robert!”
me: hm?
her: What did you wear last night?
me (almost too excitedly): I wore a light blue plaid button down short sleeved shirt and white corduroy shorts.
her (confused): what?
*silence*
her: no… what did you WIN? Not what you wore. haha…
me: oh… um… some academic thing…
Case #2
It’s the 7th grade election convention. EVERYONE gets dressed up for this bad boy. Girls wear dresses AND makeup (a rarity at this age) It’s like the prom we don’t have.
Except we vote and stuff… and… caucus.
I dont think we actually caucus, I just don’t think there’s a lot of situations where you can actually use that word, so if you can, you’d best take advantage.
So, here I go again, dressed in my still limited arsenal of formal wear. This time, a black short sleeved button down with white corduroy pants.
that’s right, upgrades.
Dressed to kill baby.
Should have put a comma there. Looks like I’m gonna kill babies.
Dressed to kill, baby.
I get to school in the morning. Everyone looks so nice! This girl I had a crush on donned a pretty pink dress and even got her haircut.
Which is weird because I actually dreamed that the night before… Sometimes I dream the future. (no joke)
Nothing important or anything, just random stuff.
Anyways, that’s another story.
So moving on, I’m hoping I look half as good as that girl, I’m walking around hoping everyone is taking notice of my spiffy outfit.
But again! no one is saying anything!
Finally, my english teacher, walks up to me. She motions me to come over, so as to say something in private.
YES! This is finally it! I guess only adults cant appreciate corduroy.
her: “Hey robert”
me: “Hi Ms. Lombino”
her: “umm… your zipper is down.”
me: oh. (realizing what she just said) OH! thanks!
her: no problem.
*sigh*
Is it weird that these two experiences came from me wearing dress clothes?
Perhaps I should always dress casual to avoid yet another occurrence.
Nah.
SUIT UP!
