Hello, all. Thank you for coming on such short notice to this… press conference of mine. Might as well call it…
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THE DECISION pt.2
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If you’re reading this, it means one of two things.
You regularly check robertjewe.tumblr.com and therefore are a really loyal reader/stalker.
or.
You looked for me on facebook, couldn’t find me, and reasoned that there may be some sort of clue on my tumblr as to where on all of social networking I could have disappeared to.
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Either way, thank you for the interest! It’s good to know that my virtual presence is felt.
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Which leads me to my point.
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I think my digital presence is starting to actually combat my physical one. It’s like that Jet Li movie where one Jet Li from another dimension starts killing the other Jet Li’s so he gets stronger. I think that’s what I need to do… start fighting these other copies of myself so I can be one, whole, extremely strong and talented in martial arts, physical person.
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In all seriousness, I think I spend way too much time on social networking and it’s actually taken away from time I could be spending face to face with people. (As opposed to wall to wall. See what I did there?)
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Some of you may feel like you’ve been able to keep in touch with me through digital means, and that’s entirely plausible.
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But I’d rather have the real deal.
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Although I’m thankful for all the networking that facebook and tumblr and all of that provides, it certainly has its drawbacks as well.
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So.
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I’ve decided to go on a little break. Not for lent, or so I can study for finals or anything like that, just because I think my physical self needs to tell my virtual self who’s boss.
Thank you.
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*cameras flash. The room is in uproar as reporters scramble for questions*
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“I have time for three questions. You sir, in the undersized ninja turtles shirt.”
“But Robert, I seriously enjoy your facebook statuses and tumblr posts and all of that. To be honest, you’re not that cool in real life. I like to just kind of… create this mental picture of you based on your social networking presence. Trust me, it’s really quite flattering. In fact, are you sure you don’t want to reverse it and invest completely in the electronic half of you?”
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“Yea… so that’s pretty much why I’m doing this. Next question, you ma’am, with the brown boots and leggings you believe actually serve as pants. (they don’t).”
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“SO wait a second… no facebook and no tumblr?!? What are you going to do with your time?”
“Well… there won’t be any facebook… and we’ll see about tumblr. I might just pop in every now and then just to express some thoughts or give some updates or post a sweet youtube video or maybe even something cooler. I haven’t really thought it all out, but what I do know is I will be dramatically cutting back the amount of time I spend social networking. In the meantime, I plan on committing the extra time to cleaning up the streets via vigilante justice. Last question, you Ms., with the teal pants and the tiger named Rajah.”
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“Umm… I’ve got a huge crush on you and was hoping we could go fly away on a magic carpet together. How do I get in touch?”
“E-mail. Phone. Write me a letter. Come visit me in person. Read this blurb by Ashton Kutcher, (I know, not the most credible source, but everybody who saw No Strings Attached loved it, including me, so maybe he got lucky or something.) it sums up my feelings quite nicely, princess, Jas… er-Ms. I think some intentionality in our relationships these days could be really beneficial. Maybe we could build a whole new world together.”
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Thank you all for your time. I’m sorry that I’m so self centered I felt like I needed to explain myself to the general public… but hey, you’re here, aren’t you?
