Sup

I’ve Moved to dyingread.com

Hello!
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I’m pleased to announce that my joint blog venture is now under way!

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www.dyingread.com

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I’d really love for you guys to check it out and support it!

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I’m also looking for other writers (as in you guys), musicians (also you guys), and other artists to help out and add to the site!

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Let me know if you’re interested.

[no subject]

Greetings.

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It’s 3:40 a.m and I’ve been trying to sleep since 1:30.  I have apparently failed miserably at the one thing I was sure I’m pretty darn good at.

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Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those posts where I’m frustrated about life and it’s the middle of the night and I write something slightly ambiguous but you can pretty much tell its about my love life or my father or how angry I am about not feeling like I have a purpose in life- Immediately followed by a hasty delete the next morning. 

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I like to think a lot, and sometimes that keeps me awake.

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At the same time, that’s also what keeps my ever-so-charming blog alive. (Although in recent months it’s been in more of a vegetative state)

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^sidenote- It took me about 10 tries to spell vegetable/vegetative.  Harder than you might think, really.

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I think about a lot of things.

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Some of it is normal, like what I have to do tomorrow, or something funny that happened to me that day.

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Most of it is pretty weird: like if my dog Muffin’s mouth tastes as bad as it smells (Not in an overly-curious, make out with my dog just to find out kind of way) and if he minds, or what I’d look like if I were another ethnicity, or what my wife will be like and if she’ll freak out because I do weird things in my sleep like fart excessively or something.

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I also love to think about the people in my life, because I know so many interesting ones.  Sometimes I think about people I just spoke to today, sometimes it’s people I haven’t seen for 15 years.  I try to imagine what they look like now and think it’d be cool if one day they Googled my name (there’s only one of me), found my blog, and found out that I think about them too.  Mr. Birch’s 3rd grade class, holla at cho boi. 

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Hey, remember that thing I said about thinking about 3rd graders late at night, hoping they’re thinking about me too?  

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…yea, I don’t remember either.  

I’m glad neither of us remember and will ever talk about it ever again because that was definitely something allegedly written out of delirium. 

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I got up because I think I realized I was hungry.  Unfortunately I’m a really poor college student and all I had at my apartment were generic brand wheat thins.

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I remembered I had some 2 month old frozen waffles that I had never eaten because I don’t have a toaster at my apartment.

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So I figured I’d try microwaving one just to see if it’d be edible. 

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I’m here to report that they were better than edible, they were delicious.  Scrumptious, in fact.  Don’t believe me? Try it.  You have nothing to lose and the world to gain, really. 

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^sidenote- I won’t even tell you how long it took me to figure out scrumptious. 

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They only take about a minute in the microwave, much faster than a toaster, and they really don’t taste any different than if you had toasted them.  In fact, they even get a little bit crispy.  How this works, I have no idea.  The intricacies of frozen breakfast foods are beyond me.

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I ate six.  And I feel awesome, and ready for bed. 

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Cheers. 

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P.S

This post will probably be deleted soon, as that third graders sequence will probably threaten my chances at securing a full-time job. 

On Hell, Love, Pride, and A Few Things in between

A quick bit beforehand:

This entry is moreso directed towards my Christian reader(s).  If you’re not a Christian, you are by all means welcome to read it, although I cannot say it is really written for you.  Also, it’s a bit on the serious side so if you’re looking for something funny… well, you’re probably in the wrong place to begin with, but if you’re looking for something funnier, check back with me in a few weeks.

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So.

You’ve probably heard of this guy Rob Bell.  You’ve probably heard of this book he wrote called Love Wins.  You’ve probably heard he’s some sort of heretic.

If you haven’t, here’s a quick video for you to watch

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Before the book even came out, Love Wins was met by massive disapproval from prominent Christian figures (John Piper, Mark Driscoll, etc.) causing a bit of controversy.  Bell was eventually asked to appear on several morning talk shows, news segments, and even had a story in Time Magazine.  Even those outside the Christian community were familiar with this… Rob Bell fellow. 

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Well.

The book came out, and some people read it.  (including me.)

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Another person who read it was this guy.

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You’ve probably heard of Francis Chan.  (Pictured above).  After Rob Bell’s book came out, he decided to also write a book regarding the topic of hell.  It’s called Erasing Hell. 

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Here’s a video for this one. 

This book also came out.

And some people read it.  (including me.)

So, let’s talk a bit about them.

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Love Wins

This book is incredibly provocative, and I mean that in the purest sense.  It simply provokes discussion.  I had a 2 hour conversation with my small group before we even read it.  It will challenge your views on heaven, hell, God, and justice.  If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to do so. If you refuse to read it because you’ve heard Rob Bell’s a false prophet and have already decided on your views of heaven, hell, God, and justice, I may go so far as to say you’re a little narrow minded.

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I would like to think that God is not offended by our attempts to discover truth.  To paraphrase Rob Bell, I think God can handle a few questions and discussions, particularly regarding a topic as significant as eternal destiny.

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The book itself basically asks a lot of questions.  In fact, Rob Bell actually never explicitly states that he subscribes to the view of universalism, or that everyone goes to heaven (and therefore there is no eternal hell.)  To me, the book is actually more of an attack on Calvinism and conservative doctrine than anything else.  (Which might be why it’s made so many people angry.)

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Criticism

Some (perhaps many) of Rob Bell’s proposals are a little far fetched.  Although they are proposals and not claims (huge difference), they are potentially dangerous and misleading. I would not recommend this book for anyone who is new to Christianity, or ready to believe anything that’s written on paper.

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My Favorite Part of This Book

Rob Bell revisits the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) and talks about how completely enraged the older brother was that his younger brother is welcomed back by his father.  He goes on to conclude that sometimes, we’re a lot like that older brother.  We actually don’t want to see those we view as lost or broken welcomed home by God.  We’d rather see them burn in hell.  We rejoice in the thought that one day, we will be rewarded, and others will be punished.

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——What?  That’s not you?  There’s no way humans could be that cruel?  Especially Christians?

This is how Americans reacted to the news Osama Bin Ladin had been killed.

Regardless of our opinions, the fact is, a bunch of people celebrated another’s death.

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Or how bout when you hear about the “sinners” going out and having so much fun on the weekends?  Don’t you get a little bit envious?  A little jealous?  Do you ever take restitution in the fact that one day, they’ll be punished, and you’ll get your reward for being good?

We are a lot more like that older brother than we’d like to admit.

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Erasing Hell

This book is also very good. It uses a nice combination of Chan’s voice with Biblical interpretation from co-author Preston Sprinkle.  Overall, it argues for a more traditional view of hell than that of Love Wins.  I encourage you to read it.  To my knowledge, not too many people are outraged by this one.

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Criticism

The book’s back cover reads “This is not a book about who is saying what.  It’s a book about what God says.”

Yet, within the first chapter, Francis Chan refers to Rob Bell too frequently for my tastes. (And almost always negatively.).  In fact, 6 of his 25 footnotes from the chapter reference Bell.  What’s even worse is he admittedly twists Bell’s words to tie him to universalism.

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For instance, Chan writes, “Bell suggests that every single person will embrace Jesus- if not in this life, then certainly in the next.” [essentially calling Bell a universalist.]  (Erasing Hell pg 24.)

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In his footnotes, Chan admits, “To be fair, he is not explicitly arguing for this position but listing it as a valid view that would help explain a lot of the tension that we feel when thinking about the hard realities of hell.”  (Erasing Hell pg 40.)

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My question is why?

Why do we need to attempt to pick Rob Bell’s book apart? 

If this is a book about what God says, what does it matter what Rob Bell says?

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Francis’ video so heavily emphasizes humility, but he pretty blatantly attempts to deconstruct Love Wins piece by piece.  At times, the tone of Chan’s book reminds me of an argument I’d find in the comments section of a youtube video.

You know, something along the lines of…

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“xxRealPlaya64- 

You say  “The sky is blue”  but wut about night time?

Idiot.”

                        -Chozen1xx83

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My Favorite Part of This Book

The opening.  I’ll let you read it for yourself.

“If you are excited to read this book, you have issues.

            Do you understand the weight of what we are about to consider?  We are exploring the possibility that you and I may end up being tormented in hell.  Excited would be the wrong term to use here.  Necessary would be more fitting.”  (Erasing Hell pg 13.)

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I loved this because it punched me right in the face.

I was super excited to read this book!  As soon as I found out about it, I bought it as soon as possible and rushed home to crack it open.

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I was definitely humbled on the first page.

And that’s really what I love most about the book as well.  For the most part, Francis does do a great job of approaching the subject with humility and compassion.

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Pride

Here’s the point.

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I can only say I’ve learned one thing for sure after all this reading and all of the controversy surrounding the topic.

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Humans are so prideful.

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And Christians may be some of the worst.

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Is there anything more ridiculous than spiritual arrogance? 

Is there anything more blatantly repulsive?

(Seriously, think of the Pharisees.)

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You know what I’m talking about.  You walk into a church or a small group.  You size everyone up.

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“I wonder if they pray as hard as me.  Or fast as much.  Wonder if they care about sex-trafficking like I do.  I wonder if they’ve read Bonhoeffer or Macarthur like I have.  Wonder if they can quote scripture like I can, or are as free during worship as I am.  Doubt it.”

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The thing that struck me most about Francis’ video was the segment where he likens theological debate to two pieces of clay trying to describe the potter to each other.

It’s so true, isn’t it?

We all think we’re experts, that we’ve got Bible verses or personal revelations to back ourselves up.

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Or what about in general?

You think you’re better.  You’re more generous, talented, or smart.

Who are you compared to God?

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Isn’t it kind of like comparing two specs of dust?  Do we as humans compare dust and say “Well, look at this dust.  So much better looking than this other dust here.”

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How full of it are we?

How completely pompous is it to believe you are better than someone?  Or know better than them?

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Conclusion

I know some of you may be wondering-

Wait, so do you believe in Hell or not?

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I don’t even know, to tell you the truth.

I believe God’s ways are infinitely higher than mine, and that justice is whatever He says it is.

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I will say this though.

The belief that one group will go to heaven and another will go to eternal hell…  That makes sense to me.  That sounds like something I would do, punish people that rejected me no matter how hard I tried, even after I died for them.

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Because I am prideful, and I’m a stupid human.

And I take pure, uninhibited joy in the fact that God is not like me.

An Earnest Question my Brother Asked Me Today…

“If churches are all supposed to do the same thing, how come they don’t just work together?”

Truth. Bomb.

A Story from Senior Year…

My laptop is currently broken, so I’ve been using my old desktop to do my technological bidding.  It’s slow, dusty, runs windows XP, and still has Maple Story installed on it. 

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It’s been a great past few days.

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While taking some time to peruse all my old assignments from high school, I stumbled upon this little gem I thought I’d share with you all.  (Those of you that went to Sunny Hills and had classes with me might enjoy this more than others.)

Robert Jewe

Period 2

9/04/07

The Perfect Senior Year

            “GOOD MORRRRRRNING HAPPY LANCERS! Today is August 30, 2007, the first day of the 07-08 school year,” the announcements chimed. “A reminder to Seniors, make sure you drop by room 5 today during break so you can pick up your crown, scepter, cape, and other appropriate furnishings. You are, after all, the kings and queens of Sunny Hills! Also, during break and lunch this year, we will be passing out complimentary lollipops and ice cream cones. It’s your senior year, take it easy.” The class roared with applause.

            “Good morning scholars, I’m Mr. Oudega, your teacher for ice cream cake V.S pie 101. This class is simple; you pick a side and bring in a sample, then we eat and discuss. This is a weighted class and considered the most prestigious elective course for seniors in the college world,” the beaming instructor stated.

            “Nice, this class seems awesome,” Robert whispered.

            “Hey Rob, what are your classes this year?” inquired Harry Potter.

            “Well, I’ve got free first, ice cream cake V.S pie second, Board Games third, Video Games fourth, and Reindeer Games fifth. Free sixth.”

            “That’s a lot of games.”

            “Yea, I’m a player.”

            “I’ve got free first as well, ICCVSP second, hugs and cuddling third, puppies and sunshine fourth, and gangsta rap 5 AP/IB fifth. Free sixth.”

            “Gangsta Rap?”

            “Yea, I’m thinking about going pro.”

            “That’s awesome, think of a name yet?”

            “I was thinking like… the Wiz kid, or maybe Lil Boy Who Lived.”

            “I’ll be the first to buy your album.”

            “Gee, thanks. Robert, can I tell you something? This may sound a bit fruity but you’re my hero. Like, seriously, you are so brave and courageous and heroic and selfless. They should write books about you, man.” The bell hummed, second period was over.

            “Thanks Harry, I really appreciate it. To be honest, I get that a lot. Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and Chuck Norris were just telling me that. Nevertheless, it doesn’t get old.”

            “Man, you are so cool. See you tomorrow”

            “Later.”

As you can see, I’ve vastly matured as a writer, cuz I’m in college and stuff.

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Also, Shout out to my boy Harry Peezy!  Can’t wait to see your finale in about 48 hours!

It’s Complicated with Facebook

So I spent a little over two months away from my fickle lover, Facebook.

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(I try to avoid titles because we’re not really exclusive at all.  It seems to me that Facebook is in an open relationship with pretty much everyone else on Earth, and I tend to dabble in other social networking sites every now and then.  She also thinks I’m still not over myspace, but I totally am.  Anyways, We’ve done this on again, off again thing for the better part of 3 years now.  No matter how hard I try, it seems I can’t completely remove myself from her… Just brief hiatuses before I come crawling back and give her my email address again so we can resume our relationship.)

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Things I missed?

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Being incredibly up to date with current events, since people have this strange sense of duty to be the first person to let the facebook world know what’s going on in the real world via status update.

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Looking through everyone’s pictures.

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“Hacked” statuses

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“WTF Lakers” statuses

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I will leave it to you to decide how many of those are serious.

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(Except really, the last two are pretty obvious.  “WTF Lakers” statuses because Laker fans’ anguish brings me joy, and “Hacked” statuses because  I don’t think anybody in the world actually enjoys them.  I’ve seen about… zero funny ones.  In general, they lack originality, wit, and feasibility.  Example:  “I just took a huge dump and ate it! MMMM!!!”.

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Umm… nobody is going to believe that. 

Why would you even post that? What were you expecting?  100 comments from people saying,

“OMG! Don’t do that anymore!  Poop is so bad for you!”

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Or maybe you were just hoping for a comment from someone who really admired your work.

“LOL!  Who hacked you?!?!?! This is so funny!!!” )

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But maybe I’m just being a hater because it’s something a lot of people do that I don’t.

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I’ve got this weird thing about being different.

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I’ve already talked about how I ended up with an abnormally small tooth because I wanted to be unique… 

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A more recent example?

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I’ve never had a caramel macchiato from Starbucks.

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You know why?

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(cuz I’m a dude.)

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Because everyone gets caramel macchiatos!

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I’ve never had one.  They’re probably obscenely delicious.  (Caramel, vanilla, coffee?  Might as well be Bosh, Wade, and Lebron. )

[I’m not a big fan of caramel, which is why I compared it to Bosh.  Also, caramel is pretty soft in general, is not very good by itself, and gave up on Toronto.]

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I don’t care, I’m not going to order one.

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Some call me independent

some call me stubborn

some call me master. 

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I digress.

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Coming back to the original idea, my time away from facebook has been splendidly insightful into how habitual, and to an extent, apathetic we are.

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The past 2 months haven’t been an everyday struggle of “Gosh… I just want to get on and poke somebody!” 

*giggle*

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On the contrary, facebook really didn’t cross my mind.

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Which led me to question: Why have I logged so many hours on it?

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(Because… it’s… a habit… and because everyone else does it too.)

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Facebook isn’t evil.

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I don’t have life figured out.  I’m not above social networking, certain coffee drinks, or even perfectly shaped teeth.

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But I would like to challenge you.

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Why do you do the things you do?

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Is it because you love them?

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If it isn’t, I think you’re wasting your time.

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And I’d like to extend this challenge.

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Who matters most in your life?

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And how much time do you spend with them?

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And how well do you know them?

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Don’t just go with the flow.

Be proactive.

Be intentional.  About everything/one in your life that matters.

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Or to use the vernacular,

Get ittttttt. 

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p.s

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I tried to find some really cool “I’m back” or “I’ve returned” songs, but this is all I came across.

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If you’re a youngster, or are offended by vulgarity, please don’t watch this.

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For the rest of you sickos, enjoy.